Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
