chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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