I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
