it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
