Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
