No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
