this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
