Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
