i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just want to make out with him forever
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
