i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Also, beer. Big fan.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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