Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it

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(540): View more from Virginia

just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping

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(727): View more from Florida

I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry

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(517): View more from Michigan

Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.

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(419): View more from Ohio

He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.

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(845): View more from New York

Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao

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(850): View more from Florida

Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.

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