Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
