i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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