if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Houston, we have a blender
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My feet surprised me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
