bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
