soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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