he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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