He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
