bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
ok first of all what the fuck
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
