do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's blow job season.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
