It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
