Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
