i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
