I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
