Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
