Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
