next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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