also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
