The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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