Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
