I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
