Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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