he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
