i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
