So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
