like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
