Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
