WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
