i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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