alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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