I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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