love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Randomize
