I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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