This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
