I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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