PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
handjob tips. give me some.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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