It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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