Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
