Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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