Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish i was in the wii world.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
